To Japan

I had just gotten out of the cenote and had a burning desire to go to Japan. I ran to a farming village on the west shore of Mexico and bought a machete, a matchbook, six gallons of water, and a dead cow. I hopped on my dead cow and started rowing with my long, thick machete to Japan. Whenever I got thirsty, I drank some of my water. Whenever I got hungry, I would take my machete and cut off some cow meat and cook it over a lit match. After four weeks, I got to Japan. Now that was some good rowin'. I then ate some sushi. I murdered a happy couple to get a house. I then burned down that house so that I could create a diversion so that I could squat on the valuable house next door. I found a sniper rifle in the closet. I ate it because I didn't have any more food.